lookatthisfuckinghipster:

“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to interrupt whatever kind of stupid street fair this is, but I need your attention for one moment. I’ve lost my little brother. I was over there buying a gyro and, while my back was turned, he simply dissapeared. So, If everyone could please just keep an eye out for my brother. His name is Russell, but everyone calls him ‘Beans’ for short.  He kind of looks like me, but with longer hair and a bigger beard. Oh, and he doesn’t wear glasses. Actually, he doesn’t wear much of anything. Basically, you should all be looking for a big fat dude wearing little boy’s underwear and hightop sneakers. Beeeeeaaaaans! Beans, wheeeere aaaaare yoooou?”